Post by lostandtorn616 on Apr 26, 2007 12:14:04 GMT -5
Disclaimer: I no own; you no sue. I only own me, myself, and I; including the idea for this one-shot, born from a disturbed, naughty excerpt of my half-mad thoughts, so beware!
Warnings: Discussions of sexual relations between a man and a woman, mentions of sexual intercourse, sadism, masochism, Shukaku’s perverse mind and bloodthirsty thoughts; discussions, thoughts, fantasies, questions, and answers in regards to Gaara’s sexual preferences, including my own.
Gaara’s questions, answers, and such will be purely fictional, while mine will be one hundred per-cent truth, okay...? I’m only saying these things for your own good, dear reader; also, for the sake of your sanity, or perhaps you’re lacking of.
FYI: Gaara is eighteen years old, while I am at my current age, twenty years old; come on, people! Who in their right mind, or not-so-right mind, would discuss carnal relations with a twelve (or if you wish to refer to the time skip, then he’d be fifteen) year-old boy?!
“Talking”
Thinking to oneself
Emphasis
--Shukaku’s Mental Communication with Gaara--
-Gaara’s Mental Communication with Shukaku-
-Whispering-
--Hey Gaara, let’s go out and kill something; we haven’t had any good demon-host bonding time lately!--
-No, Shukaku.-
--... What the hell? Did you, Gaara of the Desert, just repress the urge to kill; did you just dismiss the opportunity for some bloodshed?--
-Last I checked, that is the definition of a rebuttal, yes. ‘The speech act of refuting by offering a contrary contention or argument.’-
--That was no opposing disagreement, or an altercation for that matter; it was an answer, a statement; a simple, yet dignified, response and nothing more.--
-...-
--What’s the matter with you this time? I know for a fact that you were tempted more than a dozen times this morning to perform your Sabaku Kyuu on that little punk who was looking at–--
-Oh, what’s this? Kyuubi got your tongue?-
--Ohhhhhh, I see... So that’s why you’ve been moodier than you usually are, eh?--
-I haven’t the faintest inclination as to what you’re talking about.-
--Don’t try to act innocent on me because it won’t work! It’s because of her, isn’t it?--
-No, that is not the case.-
--What’s wrong, then? Is the most feared Sand Shinobi getting all pissy because his wannabe fuck buddy got upset when you coincidently walked in on her, when she was just stepping out of the shower, might I add? Though, that was considerably good timing on your part, I must say; did you enjoy seeing that little female acquaintance of yours in her most vulnerable moment, Gaara?--
-No. No, Shukaku, I did not.-
--Heh, we both know that’s precisely what’s been troubling you lately; admit it, you have a secret lust for someone who’s at least two years older than you! For the love of all that is bloody and vile, can you imagine how idiotic you sound to me right now? Here you are sulking, sitting on her bed waiting for her, and yet you don’t wanna wait until she comes in here, push her down on the bed and make her beg for it!?--
-Shukaku, you’re even more delirious than I am; and that’s saying something.-
--And this is coming from a young man who’s killed more people in his entire existence than anyone ever would in ten lifetimes?--
-And that came from a demon – a former monk gone decripit and pathogenic – who was sealed up in a teakettle until a more qualified, more profitable, mortal shell came along? May I mention that I turned out to be that mortal shell – your third host – or did you forget?-
--No, I didn’t forget.--
-Then perhaps you should say something plausible, so long as it doesn’t sound anything which pertains to your famished needs; or, for that matter, what you would rather have me do.-
--Since when did you suddenly become an expert on my needs? At least I have needs; you’re just a troubled, confused kid lost in the darkening abyss of what drives you to commit inhuman acts of murder!--
-And whom do I have trapped in my head to show my appreciation in possessing a demonic appetite for killing? You. Whose spirit was concealed within my body during my premature infancy? Yours.-
--...--
-Finally, you’ve learned to allow me to have a few moments of silence. For once.-
--You know what they say about older women: the older they are, the easier they fall on their backs. Seriously, what is the matter with you? You can honestly say with self-sufficient certainty that you don’t want to have her squirming, whimpering, and pleading beneath you?
-No.-
--You don’t want to hear her screaming your name while she climaxes?--
-No.-
--You don’t want to see her covered from head to toe in sweat? You don’t want to make her get down on hands and knees, grab onto your hands and make her beg in the most pitiful voice a good little female can muster?--
-No.-
--You don’t want to grab a fistful of her hair, snap her head back, and make her bleed? I know you’d both love that; especially a filthy little sadist like you. You would both excite and frighten her if you went and marked her as yours; not only that, but you would become unrestrained too, relishing in the taste of her sweet, sweet blood splashing onto your tongue.--
-She would never want that to happen.-
--That’s what she wants you to think. Women can be very deceptive, you see; they make men as naïve as you believe they don’t want it, but, secretly, they do. Your acquaintance is no different. She wants it. You want it. She’s cute, and you, you’re a demon in disguise! I say go for it!--
-... Hm...-
--HA! I knew it! Finally, you’re thinking like a normal man! So tell me, what would Gaara of the Desert have his little bi-jin do first? What sex position would you have her get into after things have gotten hot and heavy? Missionary, perhaps? Old-fashioned doggy style? Or maybe, one of my favorites, the six-nine position?--
-I do not wish to do any of those with her.-
--Of course you don’t, you nasty little liar. Personally, if it comes down to it, I think you should go along with anal penetration first; she seems like the masochist type of meito, so pleasure would definitely come before pain for her, but either way she’d end up liking it.--
-... And you would be aware of how a masochist woman perceives things because...?-
--Well, for starters, I had my fair share of round-a-bout sexual encounters when I was living. Long before you’d committed yourself to carnage at the tender age of six, and the fact that the majority of them were masochists made the sex more delightful. I can spot a virgin masochist a mile away; they look as though their legs and blood have been open without giving anyone else a taste for too long.--
-... Immoral, that’s what you were, and you still are an utter disgrace. All you think about is killing and sex; or lacking thereof.-
--As if you’re any better!--
-...-
--Distracted, are you? Perhaps by the thought of pinning her to the floor and fucking her senseless?--
-I most certainly do not wish to partake in ‘fucking her senseless’. You are twisting my words.-
--You didn’t impute any words to begin with!--
-I am now, and I strongly suggest that you don’t take things too seriously, or warp them to your liking; you’ve already made my night complicated to begin with, let alone very boisterous.-
--No, I haven’t! All I’m really doing is encouraging you; you want to get laid before your twentieth birthday, don’t you? Or does the infamous Gaara of the Desert not possess enough balls to want to have consensual intercourse with his lovely feminine acquaintance?--
-... You are the most despicable excuse for company I have ever had the misfortune of knowing.-
--It’s not my fault the ‘little boy’ finally reached puberty on his eighteenth birthday; speaking of which, wasn’t that the same day you actually managed to sustain an erection for more than ten seconds?--
-Ha ha, funny.-
--Oh, but I’m just getting started. Good thing the potential meito you wish to fuck until she’s incapable of moving properly has a small stature, which is good considering smaller women can’t put up a decent resistance to save their skin; not to mention she’s the only other woman besides Temari who can endure more than five minutes being in your company.--
-... You should think before you speak to me via our mind-soul symbiosis, Shukaku.-
--And you should speak your mind the second that submissive little bi-jin walks into her room! I can imagine it now: she’d come in here, reeking of men’s aftershave, women’s cologne, and liquor–--
-Shut up.-
--And you being the idiotic dolt that you are will just sit there, heart racing, blood pumping furiously, body temperature rising as your hidden arousal tightens inside your pants–--
-Shut up.-
--She’d stand there in a drunken daze, scents wafting off her, a light sheen of sweat covering her pale face, biting on her lower lip in confusion while you get to your feet, slowly, a mad smile twisting your mouth–--
-SHUT UP!-
--LET ME FINISH!--
-NO!-
--YES!--
-YOU WILL NOT SPEAK BEYOND THAT WORD, SHUKAKU!-
--YES, I WILL!--
-NO, YOU WILL NOT!-
--YOU CAN’T STOP ME, BRAT! SO YOU’RE THE FOURTH KAZEKAGE’S SON, BIG DEAL! ON TOP OF THAT, SO WHAT IF YOU BECAME THE FIFTH KAZEKAGE AFTER HIS UNTIMELY DEMISE?! YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU THE BOSS OF ME?!--
-I’m going to pretend you didn’t say anything then.-
--TOO BAD! YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH IT, KID! LIKE IT OR HATE IT!--
-I most certainly will NOT like it.-
--And why the bloody hell wouldn’t you?!--
-First of all, you’re the one who’s being a perverted tanuki, not me. Second, you’re the one who shamefully brought up the topic of sex in the beginning; from there on in, all that came from you was carnal illusions, crackpot theories on how my acquaintance, as you call her, would be absolutely thrilled to have me take the last remaining shred of innocence and sanity away, whether by force or with her deepest consent. Lastly, I wasn’t a decripit monk who somehow grew to be more corrupted and vile, only to be sealed up in a jar of tea, then sealed inside two now deceased hosts; and now, with no one to hear or to care, you’re pestering me.-
--... Gaara, you’re weird, boy. I highly doubt what I’ve been doing for the past – what, hour or so – could be classified as ‘pestering’.--
-Shall I tell you what ‘pestering’ means in small words, Shukaku? Perhaps then you’d understand–-
--I KNOW what it means, you little... Erh, I can see we’re getting nowhere at the moment.--
-Mmm-hmm. And what, may I ask, gave you that idea?-
--Y’know, I can see now why people steer clear of you.--
-Because of you?-
--No.--
-Then what is it?-
--Because...--
-I’m waiting, Shukaku.-
--... Because... like I said before, Gaara: you’re a very strange boy.--
-... Shukaku?-
--Yeah?--
-Shut up.-
*Turns to reader* Um, yeah. That was just... random stupidity there. Uh... BEWARE! Part 2 shall be even more enticing! *Melodramatic music starts to play* DUN DUN DUN!
Gaara: ... *Looks to reader* Give her feedback or I will give you death. *Gives reader his infamous insane grin*
Yeah, believe it! Cuz we all know Gaara’s threats, unlike most people, aren’t empty threats; his threats are sole promises! *Cheesy grin*
Gaara: *Sand starts to curl up the reader’s legs*
....
Oh, and by the way, here's two fun translations for you!
Bi-jin means virgin, and a meito is a mate. So now you know! xD
Warnings: Discussions of sexual relations between a man and a woman, mentions of sexual intercourse, sadism, masochism, Shukaku’s perverse mind and bloodthirsty thoughts; discussions, thoughts, fantasies, questions, and answers in regards to Gaara’s sexual preferences, including my own.
Gaara’s questions, answers, and such will be purely fictional, while mine will be one hundred per-cent truth, okay...? I’m only saying these things for your own good, dear reader; also, for the sake of your sanity, or perhaps you’re lacking of.
FYI: Gaara is eighteen years old, while I am at my current age, twenty years old; come on, people! Who in their right mind, or not-so-right mind, would discuss carnal relations with a twelve (or if you wish to refer to the time skip, then he’d be fifteen) year-old boy?!
“Talking”
Thinking to oneself
Emphasis
--Shukaku’s Mental Communication with Gaara--
-Gaara’s Mental Communication with Shukaku-
-Whispering-
~~~~START!~~~~
--Hey Gaara, let’s go out and kill something; we haven’t had any good demon-host bonding time lately!--
-No, Shukaku.-
--... What the hell? Did you, Gaara of the Desert, just repress the urge to kill; did you just dismiss the opportunity for some bloodshed?--
-Last I checked, that is the definition of a rebuttal, yes. ‘The speech act of refuting by offering a contrary contention or argument.’-
--That was no opposing disagreement, or an altercation for that matter; it was an answer, a statement; a simple, yet dignified, response and nothing more.--
-...-
--What’s the matter with you this time? I know for a fact that you were tempted more than a dozen times this morning to perform your Sabaku Kyuu on that little punk who was looking at–--
-Oh, what’s this? Kyuubi got your tongue?-
--Ohhhhhh, I see... So that’s why you’ve been moodier than you usually are, eh?--
-I haven’t the faintest inclination as to what you’re talking about.-
--Don’t try to act innocent on me because it won’t work! It’s because of her, isn’t it?--
-No, that is not the case.-
--What’s wrong, then? Is the most feared Sand Shinobi getting all pissy because his wannabe fuck buddy got upset when you coincidently walked in on her, when she was just stepping out of the shower, might I add? Though, that was considerably good timing on your part, I must say; did you enjoy seeing that little female acquaintance of yours in her most vulnerable moment, Gaara?--
-No. No, Shukaku, I did not.-
--Heh, we both know that’s precisely what’s been troubling you lately; admit it, you have a secret lust for someone who’s at least two years older than you! For the love of all that is bloody and vile, can you imagine how idiotic you sound to me right now? Here you are sulking, sitting on her bed waiting for her, and yet you don’t wanna wait until she comes in here, push her down on the bed and make her beg for it!?--
-Shukaku, you’re even more delirious than I am; and that’s saying something.-
--And this is coming from a young man who’s killed more people in his entire existence than anyone ever would in ten lifetimes?--
-And that came from a demon – a former monk gone decripit and pathogenic – who was sealed up in a teakettle until a more qualified, more profitable, mortal shell came along? May I mention that I turned out to be that mortal shell – your third host – or did you forget?-
--No, I didn’t forget.--
-Then perhaps you should say something plausible, so long as it doesn’t sound anything which pertains to your famished needs; or, for that matter, what you would rather have me do.-
--Since when did you suddenly become an expert on my needs? At least I have needs; you’re just a troubled, confused kid lost in the darkening abyss of what drives you to commit inhuman acts of murder!--
-And whom do I have trapped in my head to show my appreciation in possessing a demonic appetite for killing? You. Whose spirit was concealed within my body during my premature infancy? Yours.-
--...--
-Finally, you’ve learned to allow me to have a few moments of silence. For once.-
--You know what they say about older women: the older they are, the easier they fall on their backs. Seriously, what is the matter with you? You can honestly say with self-sufficient certainty that you don’t want to have her squirming, whimpering, and pleading beneath you?
-No.-
--You don’t want to hear her screaming your name while she climaxes?--
-No.-
--You don’t want to see her covered from head to toe in sweat? You don’t want to make her get down on hands and knees, grab onto your hands and make her beg in the most pitiful voice a good little female can muster?--
-No.-
--You don’t want to grab a fistful of her hair, snap her head back, and make her bleed? I know you’d both love that; especially a filthy little sadist like you. You would both excite and frighten her if you went and marked her as yours; not only that, but you would become unrestrained too, relishing in the taste of her sweet, sweet blood splashing onto your tongue.--
-She would never want that to happen.-
--That’s what she wants you to think. Women can be very deceptive, you see; they make men as naïve as you believe they don’t want it, but, secretly, they do. Your acquaintance is no different. She wants it. You want it. She’s cute, and you, you’re a demon in disguise! I say go for it!--
-... Hm...-
--HA! I knew it! Finally, you’re thinking like a normal man! So tell me, what would Gaara of the Desert have his little bi-jin do first? What sex position would you have her get into after things have gotten hot and heavy? Missionary, perhaps? Old-fashioned doggy style? Or maybe, one of my favorites, the six-nine position?--
-I do not wish to do any of those with her.-
--Of course you don’t, you nasty little liar. Personally, if it comes down to it, I think you should go along with anal penetration first; she seems like the masochist type of meito, so pleasure would definitely come before pain for her, but either way she’d end up liking it.--
-... And you would be aware of how a masochist woman perceives things because...?-
--Well, for starters, I had my fair share of round-a-bout sexual encounters when I was living. Long before you’d committed yourself to carnage at the tender age of six, and the fact that the majority of them were masochists made the sex more delightful. I can spot a virgin masochist a mile away; they look as though their legs and blood have been open without giving anyone else a taste for too long.--
-... Immoral, that’s what you were, and you still are an utter disgrace. All you think about is killing and sex; or lacking thereof.-
--As if you’re any better!--
-...-
--Distracted, are you? Perhaps by the thought of pinning her to the floor and fucking her senseless?--
-I most certainly do not wish to partake in ‘fucking her senseless’. You are twisting my words.-
--You didn’t impute any words to begin with!--
-I am now, and I strongly suggest that you don’t take things too seriously, or warp them to your liking; you’ve already made my night complicated to begin with, let alone very boisterous.-
--No, I haven’t! All I’m really doing is encouraging you; you want to get laid before your twentieth birthday, don’t you? Or does the infamous Gaara of the Desert not possess enough balls to want to have consensual intercourse with his lovely feminine acquaintance?--
-... You are the most despicable excuse for company I have ever had the misfortune of knowing.-
--It’s not my fault the ‘little boy’ finally reached puberty on his eighteenth birthday; speaking of which, wasn’t that the same day you actually managed to sustain an erection for more than ten seconds?--
-Ha ha, funny.-
--Oh, but I’m just getting started. Good thing the potential meito you wish to fuck until she’s incapable of moving properly has a small stature, which is good considering smaller women can’t put up a decent resistance to save their skin; not to mention she’s the only other woman besides Temari who can endure more than five minutes being in your company.--
-... You should think before you speak to me via our mind-soul symbiosis, Shukaku.-
--And you should speak your mind the second that submissive little bi-jin walks into her room! I can imagine it now: she’d come in here, reeking of men’s aftershave, women’s cologne, and liquor–--
-Shut up.-
--And you being the idiotic dolt that you are will just sit there, heart racing, blood pumping furiously, body temperature rising as your hidden arousal tightens inside your pants–--
-Shut up.-
--She’d stand there in a drunken daze, scents wafting off her, a light sheen of sweat covering her pale face, biting on her lower lip in confusion while you get to your feet, slowly, a mad smile twisting your mouth–--
-SHUT UP!-
--LET ME FINISH!--
-NO!-
--YES!--
-YOU WILL NOT SPEAK BEYOND THAT WORD, SHUKAKU!-
--YES, I WILL!--
-NO, YOU WILL NOT!-
--YOU CAN’T STOP ME, BRAT! SO YOU’RE THE FOURTH KAZEKAGE’S SON, BIG DEAL! ON TOP OF THAT, SO WHAT IF YOU BECAME THE FIFTH KAZEKAGE AFTER HIS UNTIMELY DEMISE?! YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU THE BOSS OF ME?!--
-I’m going to pretend you didn’t say anything then.-
--TOO BAD! YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH IT, KID! LIKE IT OR HATE IT!--
-I most certainly will NOT like it.-
--And why the bloody hell wouldn’t you?!--
-First of all, you’re the one who’s being a perverted tanuki, not me. Second, you’re the one who shamefully brought up the topic of sex in the beginning; from there on in, all that came from you was carnal illusions, crackpot theories on how my acquaintance, as you call her, would be absolutely thrilled to have me take the last remaining shred of innocence and sanity away, whether by force or with her deepest consent. Lastly, I wasn’t a decripit monk who somehow grew to be more corrupted and vile, only to be sealed up in a jar of tea, then sealed inside two now deceased hosts; and now, with no one to hear or to care, you’re pestering me.-
--... Gaara, you’re weird, boy. I highly doubt what I’ve been doing for the past – what, hour or so – could be classified as ‘pestering’.--
-Shall I tell you what ‘pestering’ means in small words, Shukaku? Perhaps then you’d understand–-
--I KNOW what it means, you little... Erh, I can see we’re getting nowhere at the moment.--
-Mmm-hmm. And what, may I ask, gave you that idea?-
--Y’know, I can see now why people steer clear of you.--
-Because of you?-
--No.--
-Then what is it?-
--Because...--
-I’m waiting, Shukaku.-
--... Because... like I said before, Gaara: you’re a very strange boy.--
-... Shukaku?-
--Yeah?--
-Shut up.-
-------- Part 1 End --------
*Turns to reader* Um, yeah. That was just... random stupidity there. Uh... BEWARE! Part 2 shall be even more enticing! *Melodramatic music starts to play* DUN DUN DUN!
Gaara: ... *Looks to reader* Give her feedback or I will give you death. *Gives reader his infamous insane grin*
Yeah, believe it! Cuz we all know Gaara’s threats, unlike most people, aren’t empty threats; his threats are sole promises! *Cheesy grin*
Gaara: *Sand starts to curl up the reader’s legs*
....
Oh, and by the way, here's two fun translations for you!
Bi-jin means virgin, and a meito is a mate. So now you know! xD